Meet Me at Midnight
by almostblackandwhite
Summary: Since Henry asked her to let Emma live with them, Regina keeps meeting her - for one reason or another - in her kitchen at night. Every chapter is going to be set in another night.
1. First Night

**A/N:**

Every chapter is going to be set in the next night.

Set after 'Queen of Hearts'.

I haven't written _any_thing in forever… But I thought about this idea ever since season 1 ended. Please forgive any spelling and grammar mistakes since my English isn't perfect. And, well thanks for reading! :)

… . .

Chapter 1

… . .

_**First Night**_

… . .

Twenty minutes to midnight.

Regina lay awake in her bed, trying to close her eyes but always ending up staring at the ceiling.

It had been too many times that she'd checked the clock. The minutes were dragging.

It was the second night in a row now that she was having troubles falling asleep.

She had tried to fight it, with warm milk and honey, and - when that didn't work - a glass of bourbon. Shortly, she had considered a little enchanted drink - a quick, _harmless_ spell that had proven to be helpful countless times before - but shook it off again.

She was going to stick to her promise to Henry.

The boy was in his bedroom, only doors away.

When she had checked on him two hours ago, he'd been tucked under his favourite blanket, steadily breathing in content, deep sleep. From the doorframe, she could only see the back of his head. After watching him for a minute, she whispered "Good night", more to herself than to him, and gently closed the door again.

Now it seemed to her as if she hadn't slept a minute since she had lain down.

The bedroom was so quiet. She felt like being locked inside those four walls. Not a single exterior sound was coming through her door, the windows were closed and only dull moonlight came through the glass pane, as if she was cut off from the rest of the house, almost imprisoned.

Of course all of that was ridiculous, she could walk through the door at any time if she wanted.

In this moment, it felt better not to move, though.

Were it the thoughts that kept her awake or the sleeplessness that kept her thinking? She'd be slowly, silently going insane, unnoticed by anybody, seemingly the same from the outside but something shifting deep inside her. Not that the town folk wouldn't expect anything like that from her sooner or later, anyway.

_Enough_.

She would make one last attempt to put herself to sleep and fix herself a drink. After that there still was enough time to feel sorry for herself.

A second later, Regina sat up in bed, pulled her legs out from under the blanket and put them on the floor. It was cold beneath her bare feet. She took her dressing gown from the back of the chair and put it around her shoulders.

Regina went downstairs in the dark and vanished inside the kitchen. Turning on the lamps there, she blinked, the light hurting her dry eyes, and suddenly feeling the tiredness in her bones again. Her body felt so heavy.

She just wanted to sleep, sleep through a whole couple of hours before it would be morning again and another day of having no idea what was going to happen would overrun her as it had been since… since how many years ago?

Maybe a cup of herbal tea would help. It would fill the hole in her stomach, at least.

She opened the cupboard, took the tea box and put a small kettle filled with water on the stove. After a minute, she added the tea into the boiling water and the smell filled her nostrils. It was a familiar scent that calmed her at once. It made her think of the early days of fall when Henry would be prone to colds and loved to have hot tea in the afternoons with her. But their lives won't ever be like that again. She couldn't pretend that none of it had happened, and even if _she_'d wanted to, the others did not forget.

Regina poured the hot liquid inside a big mug and flinched a little when her hands touched the walls of the porcelain but, in the end, it felt good.

When she turned around, she was inadvertently startled. However, she quickly collected herself and smiled, embarrassed.

"Hi", Emma seemed surprised to find her here at this time of night.

"I… I was just getting a glass of water", the blonde said awkwardly, apologetically looking at Regina. She hesitated - Regina guessed she waited for some kind of permission from her. Which she didn't need since she lived here now. Sort of.

"Go ahead"

Emma put her hand on the handle of a cupboard but Regina interrupted her with a "… the one on the left", before she'd be searching through the whole thing.

"Thanks", Emma gasped with a smirk, took out a glass and slowly closed it again. Regina had stepped aside appropriately, to let her get to the sink, and clung to her tea cup - still hot - with both hands.

Two days ago, Henry finally had suggested that Emma would move in with them. Or begged for it rather than making it a proposal. After Mary Margaret - or Snow, Regina couldn't get her mind around on what to call her - and Emma had come back from the other realm, the two women had lived in Mary Margaret's apartment just like they used to do. Until it became appearant that Snow _really_ wanted David to be with her all the time - they're married, after all - which was a not-so-subtle hint for Emma to leave. Henry had, right after they'd been back, actually agreed to live with Regina, moving back into the big, quiet house. It probably wasn't more than a sleeping arrangement, though the happiness she'd felt almost strangled her.

And then came Emma. When they sat together for a spell after Regina brought Henry to the diner, he suggested - at both their mild shock - that it would be the easiest solution of all. Emma needed a place to stay, their house was really big, and he could have both of his moms at once. _Both of his moms_, Regina's stomach still ached when she heard him refering to Emma as his mother. Though she should be used to it by now.

Emma had smiled at the boy, and told her that it wasn't necessary, right before Regina, on a whim, said yes. It had been her "fault" that Emma had safely returned from the Fairytale Land as it was hers that the woman was now standing in her kitchen. Sometimes she realized that things really had changed since Emma had invaded Storybrooke. Now she took over her kitchen, too?

Emma wore a tanktop and wide pyjama pants, feet bare just as Regina's. It suddenly amused her how - after knowing about their true lives in a completely different world - they were all able to carry on with the Storybrooke lifestyle. But Emma grew up in this world, after all. Regina wondered if the blonde had been _very_ relieved to return to the comforts of this obviously more convenient life. But would she actually want to go back to the Enchanted Forest herself?

Emma leaned against the kitchen counter, drinking her water and looking her in the eye, face unreadable.

Regina resisted her gaze for a couple of seconds - as she always did in their cat-and-mouse game, and they weren't going to break with tradition, right - but then glanced down at the floor. She just thought about how to get out of this situation - preparing a line in her head to excuse herself - when Emma abruptly cleared her throat and made her look at her again.

"Couldn't sleep?"

It was the sort of thing to say when you had no idea what to talk about. Regina wasn't really in the mood for it. It was enough that she had to live with the thought of accidentally meeting Emma in her house at any point - in front of the bathroom, searching for her keys, sitting at breakfast with Henry - but did that mean they had to talk?

"It's nothing. I'm a… light sleeper. I heard something and…", which was a lie. Her throat felt croaky and her voice must've sounded like the one of a tired, defeated woman.

She could see the thoughts bouncing around inside Emma's head, probably thinking about a sneaky response, or detecting her lie. She didn't really look like she was buying it. Not that it mattered much. They might have ridden Regina of a lot of privileges lately, but at least doing what she wanted to do in her own house wasn't one of them.

Finally, the blonde pushed herself away from the counter and took a step towards the door taking the water with her, leaving Regina feeling relieved at being alone again. It wasn't so much that Emma herself was bothering her, she just felt better on her own as a matter of principle. One day, she might've actually wanted to talk to her. As absurd as it would've looked a few months ago, there might be some things they actually had in common. Not to mention the fact that she met her _mother_ not too long ago. Surely _lots_ of things to talk about.

But not tonight.

Before she walked out, Emma turned around - the door knob in her hand - and quietly said,

"You know, hot chocolate always made me sleep like a baby."

The smile accompanying that suggestion was friendly and sincere. _Emma Swan and hot chocolate._ Figures. This brew, of which Regina wasn't particularly a fan, could probably fix everything for Emma. If it were that easy. Still, she appreciated the gesture.

"I'm already having something", Regina said pointing at her cup, "but I'll give it a try next time".

She returned the little smile that had lately become a kind of habit between them. The smile that said they accepted each other's presence in Henry's life, in their lives, that there was a way to work things out without fighting, _together_. The best way for Henry, said the slightly alarmed voice in Regina's head, was the two of them working together. Living in the same house was an unusual start but was probably heading in the right direction.

The blonde nodded, barely recognizably, and left the room.

Regina took a deep breath and a sip from her cup, leaned back on the sink again and pulled the gown closer around her waist. She was going to wait a couple of minutes to avoid meeting her on the stairs or in the hallway, before returning to her own bedroom

… . .

_Feedback highly appreciated! :)_


	2. Second Night

**_Second Night_**

. . . . .

11:08 p.m.

_You have got to be kidding me._

Regina had been lying in her bed, kneading her temples, when she heard the vague but unmistakable sound of breaking glass downstairs. Had it taken Emma really only three days to break something in this house? She knew it had to be the blonde because, honestly, she didn't believe anyone would be as lightheaded as trying to break in here.

To her own suprise she only felt the tiniest wave of anger rolling over her. She was too tired to even bring up enough energy to get mad at Emma Swan. Though she had to admit to herself that a little back-and-forth with the other woman always offered a not inconsiderable amount of pleasure. There was nobody to get into a fight with who was as fun as Emma Swan. Something she would never admit to the woman, though.

Regina sighed. Since it was impossible to fall asleep now, she could just as well go downstairs and catch Emma red-handed at being a bad guest. Housemate. Whatever. They actually hadn't talked about how long this arrangement would last, and Regina surely didn't want to start discussing it now.

She got out of bed, groaning. Her head protested; she'd use some magic for that later. The sort of one could find in the medicine cabinet, of course.

When she entered the kitchen, she found Emma kneeling on the floor. Tiny pieces of glass were scattered around half of the room. You had to hand it to her - if she broke something, she did it thorough.

Emma had heard her coming, when Regina stopped in front of her, she looked up and gave her a warning glare. _Don't_.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry", she said, not very convincingly.

"Miss Swan", Regina started, easily relapsing into their usual distance which gave her at least the illusion of power over the other woman, "what's going on - "

"Please, can we _not_ do that, Regina - "

Emma looked at her, asking her to _just leave it, _and Regina was actually disappointed at her lack of combativeness.

But the blonde seemed pretty tired. It must've been a long day. Regina saw that she was still wearing the same t-shirt like in the morning. The woman could definitely use a shower.

She knew that Emma had come home late, almost an hour after she had put Henry to bed, although he had pleaded to be allowed to wait up for her, which was out of the question. What kept Emma so long were those endless town meetings these days - people were discussing nothing less than _the future of Storybrooke_, and Mary M- _Snow_ and Charming wanted their daughter there with them.

That the blonde was very little comfortable with the role of their _princess_ was obvious even to Regina. Funnily enough, it was something she could relate to.

Regina hadn't been invited. And she was glad about it. It was kind of refreshing to keep out of everything for a change, to _not_ be in charge.

Emma had only just started to sweep up the broken bits of glass - she had probably been having troubles finding the broom closet. Regina might've forgotten to give her the _tour_, but she now wondered why Henry hadn't shown her everything yet.

She squatted down next to her, picking up splinters with picky fingers.

"Do you get up every night in the middle of everyone's sleep and go downstairs for _water_?"

"Do you lie awake all night, monitoring the house?"

_Only since you moved in. _Regina rolled her eyes and put her hair behind her ears. They'd better just quickly clean up the mess and get back to sleep, before they would wake Henry.

"Did you hurt yourself?", Regina asked, presuming, "you have got to be more - " and then she flinched, a drop of blood sitting on her fingertip as she picked up a shred.

"Hm", Emma smirked, "speak for yourself."

Regina hissed something under her breath she'd better not repeat in Henry's presence. It was such a small cut, but hell, did it hurt. Did she still have band-aids? She got up and reached for the drawer on the far right. She was lucky, there was a box of sticking-plasters, and she put one on her finger. It was with such precision that Emma thought one could really tell she was the mother of a 10 year old. The face Regina put on was less reputable.

"You don't hurt yourself very often, do you?"

"No", Regina said dryly, "I'm usually in my right mind. People tend to favor someone as their representative who is able to keep themself under control."

"Except when they didn't actually _choose_ her", Emma smirked.

Regina let out a short laugh as she thought about that.

"Has Snow... your mother... actually told you a lot about me since, well, since she started _remembering_?" Regina made sure she let the last part sound slightly dangerous. Emma wasn't impressed.

"Only the condensed version," she stated. She took the brush and swept up the glass splinters in front of them, before she turned around and looked at her.

"That your mother killed your fiancé after Mary Margaret had told her about him. And that that was why you... did the _curse_."

The word lingered on with its dozen of different meanings. From Emma's lips, it still sounded like something she struggled to believe in, just like anything that had to do with magic, even though she had fully experienced its effects on Henry and had gone through magical portals into different worlds. Kneeling on the kitchen floor and tidying up a not-at-all-magical mess, it all felt rather unbelievable.

For Regina the curse counted for everything and nothing, victory and loss, but was, in the end, the one thing that had brought them all together, people she loved, people she hated, and the ones in between. As if it had been inevitable from the beginning.

She didn't say anything. Emma tilted her head to the side, not really able to believe that she would ever come across her speechless. Regina looked into her eyes and wasn't sure what she saw there, blame or pity or sympathy - or the silent demand for an explanation. There were some things that couldn't be explained, though, even if she'd tried.

It was a long time ago. Most of the time, it didn't even feel like part of her life anymore. But on other occasions, it seemed like all of it happened a short while ago.

"Well. Your mother's right. I did... do it because of what had happened to Daniel."

Regina suddenly felt ridiculous, telling her this. Did she even know enough about it to be able to grasp what it had meant to her?

"There was nothing left in my life except... bitterness, I guess. I thought there was only one person left who I could blame, apart from myself. Snow."

Emma stared at her for a moment. She was taken aback by that confession of sorts. She hadn't expected that Regina would ever open up to her, not even though they now lived in the same house, ran into each other more often than ever, stood next to each other in that kitchen. Emma hadn't exactly been encouraging. That's why it surprised her all the more.

But she didn't want to turn this into a too sentimental moment. Mostly, because she wasn't very good at this stuff herself. With a smile, she said,

"Trust me, we all have some things in our past that we're not particularly proud of."

Regina put on a half-amused, half-melancholy laugh.

"Oh. But what could you have done that is even remotely comparable to cursing a whole kingdom into tedious, depressing small town life? No, Emma. I think I win this one."

Emma chuckled and took the hand brush again, waving it before her to subtly tell her to get out of the way. Regina groaned and dragged herself to her feet. She stepped aside and watched the other woman quickly sweeping up the rest of the glass splinters, not able to stop herself from thinking that she probably had some experience in picking up the pieces.

"So you... knew Mary Margaret when she was little? What was she like?", Emma asked lightly. Regina didn't even think about her answer for long.

"She was the sweetest little girl. But I wasn't cut out to be her mother."

That was the truth, and they both somehow knew it. The idea, that her mother _and_ Regina both were almost the same age as her, was weird enough. The two of them had so many shared experiences before she was even born - but she had had her own share of that, just in a different world.

"But that has changed", Emma answered, "I once thought that as well. I had always thought that my life was pretty crazy as it is. But only until I got to Storybrooke."

"You mean, until Henry found you."

"Yes." She smiled at the mentioning of his name. Someday she'll thank her for giving it to him. A name. And a home. It was kind of overwhelming how many things they never talked about before considering they cared for a boy who belonged to both of them in its own way.

"And until I found out I'm the legitimate daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. I don't know if I will ever get over it."

Regina knowingly raised an eyebrow. "You'll get used to it."

Maybe. In a couple of years. Or decades.

Emma got up from the floor and questioningly pointed at the content of the dustpan.

"Oh." Regina opened the door under the sink and Emma emptyed the pan into the trash can.

"Thanks. And I'm sorry about the glass." This time, it sounded fully sincere.

"Nevermind." Regina folded her arms and pointed upstairs. "I'm going to bed."

"Yeah, me too. Did you... actually want something? I mean, when you came downstairs?"

"What? No. I heard the breaking glass and thought it had to be Henry."

"I see." Emma didn't actually believe her, but she left it at that. It really was time to get to bed, for both of them.

"Good night."

"Good night."

Back in her bed, after turning off the lights and rolling onto her side, Regina realized that she had forgotten to take her headache killer. Her temples were mildly pounding. But it wasn't as bad as it was before.

. . . . .

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favourited, followed this story! I love these characters and I hope I'm doing them at least partly justice. It is **_**really**_** difficult and really fun to write. As always, please forgive any weird usage of the English language, I'm still learning :) I mostly just pick the word that feels best, lol. **

**I obviously have in my mind in which direction I want this to go, but right now, I mostly just go with the "flow"! The next chapter might take some time since it's not the weekend anymore. **

**REVIEWS PLEASE, don't be shy ;) Tell me what you liked and disliked!**


	3. Third Night

**_Third Night_**

. . . . .

11:26 p.m.

When Emma came back from her evening with Mary Margaret and David, she felt very stuffed, a bit tired and, above all, utterly confused.

They had invited her for dinner at their place - which, not too long ago, used to be Emma's place, too - and it was strange to sit as a guest at a table she used to have breakfast at or sit with Mary Margaret and talk far into the night. They'd never talk as openly as that again - the thought made Emma sad. Though she shouldn't mourn the loss of a friend as much as embrace the gain of a mother, she still did.

Kind of funny though how the two of them had suddenly become ''more'', whole other personalities added to the people she already knew. _Snow_ still was Mary Margaret Blanchard and all of her charming clumsiness, and _Charming_ let show through David Nolan in moments of insecurity, but Snow also was confident and sassy and Charming - what sort of name was that anyway? Had she never wondered aboug that as a kid? And what would she've thought of the idea that this prince of her storybook was her _father_ - was less indecisive but perfectly sure of Snow's love for him. Never ever would Emma have imagined to have parents who actually loved each other. She had had some plans of what to say to them if she was ever gonna face them, but this was a whole different case altogether.

She loved these two - and she had kind of loved them before, when they still where her friends only. There were some moments in her life that she just could not tell them about, though she really wanted to. It just didn't seem right to burden them with things that couldn't be changed, based on a decision they made 28 years ago. Or did they not have a choice anyway when Regina let all hell break loose.

Emma didn't actually care much whose fault it had been in the end. It still all felt too crazy and too far away from real life - even though she had stood in their castle's nursery with Mary Margaret - with her mother - and seen the remains of their happy dreams.

Her parents didn't want to address it any further, neither. The town had agreed on a ''truce'' with Regina after she had saved Mary Margaret and Emma from finding out what Gold's spell over the well would've done to them. This truce basically meant that everyone was living with the thought of their former Queen in town, in different stages from acceptance to ignorance. Emma's parents were generally interested in how it was for Emma to be living with the woman and how Henry was doing, but beyond that they seemed to have come to terms with Regina for the moment.

Mary Margaret - Emma could tell that she was hurt every time she unconsciously called her that - wanted her to know about everything.

Over baked chicken and potatoes she and David told her about wanting a child, being pregnant with her and, finally, the night she was born. It was surreal - but still was a moment that had happened in actual real life, her life.

If she hadn't given birth herself, she would've been uncomfortable but instead she could actually relate to that experience a lot. And when Snow's story of giving her away mingled with her own memories of giving her baby up for adoption, she cried for _herself_ for the first time, for being an orphan and making her own child an orphan and the complete loneliness that was surrounding her, even though she now was with both her parents _and_ with her son. But was she really in any of their lives or would she always remain a guest?

Emma closed the door of Regina Mills' house behind her, turned around and saw a shimmer of light.

She found Regina sitting at the small table between diningroom and kitchen, seemingly preoccupied in a glass of almost transparent fluid - wine, judging by the bottle on the table. She didn't want to ask what the reason behind this was but she'd also wouldn't have minded a glass.

"You're still up?", she briefly announced herself to not freak her out again - the woman seemed so far away in thoughts that she probably hadn't heard her.

They'd briefly met a couple of times during the day, but they never talked much. It was quite alright this way. They used to say so many spiteful things that a little break couldn't hurt. Emma used to think of Regina as completely irrational, but that had changed. Since the day they'd lost and regained Henry and both went through a rollercoaster of emotions, Regina seemed to suddenly see things clearer. She tried to to the right thing now and Emma acknowledged that. And though she never actually apologized for any of the shit she pulled the months before, Emma knew that it was one step at a time. It'd be a slow process to make everybody accept her for what she had been, was, and tried to become. For the sake of Henry, Emma wanted to try.

Regina looked up, glance slightly frustrated. Seemed like she had been waiting for her, and had done so too long for her pleasing.

"Can I talk to you about something?", she announced, voice reserved.

"Sure"

Emma left her bag and jacket on the kitchen island and stopped at the corner, leaning against the sideboard.

"What about?"

"I want you to talk to Henry", Regina said, calmly, but it still sounded a bit too much like an order. Emma sighed.

How about a _please._

"He wants to go to the horse stables again but I don't want him to. I think it's too dangerous."

When the blonde looked at her questioning, but didn't say anything, Regina continued, slightly abashed.

"I tried to talk to him this afternoon, but he got angry and locked himself into his room."

Emma crossed her arms. She had to admit that it didn't really surprise her. She knew that Henry had a hard time accepting Regina's attempt to change, separating the image of his mother from the one of the Evil Queen, and at moments like this, he couldn't make a difference between the woman who used to do black magic and the strict, but caring mother. He was all too easily pulled back into thinking of her as evil, and it worried Emma a lot.

"Okay. But why shouldn't he go there? I thought you loved horses yourself? And he told me that David gave him his own horse-"

"I said it is too dangerous." Regina cut her off sharply. This wasn't up for negotiation.

"_Excuse me_", Emma exclaimed, "but I thought that the deal was that I am as much of a parent to Henry as you are. So I think that we should discuss this first?"

"Emma...", Regina said, sounding a bit exhausted, "there isn't much to discuss. The last time he went there - while you were away - he was there alone and unsupervised because David failed to watch over him."

That really didn't sound very safe, to be honest. Emma had no idea from what age on it was appropriate to spend time alone with horses, but she certainly couldn't see Henry there all by himself. Remind her to ask David at a later point what had been going on with that.

"Can I?" She walked towards Regina and pulled out the chair opposite her, did not actually wait for her nod and sat down.

"What about you going there with him?", Emma tried, with a smile.

"I'm sure the two of you would have fun and it'd be a great way to do something together."

She thought her proposal to be absolutely sincere, but Regina didn't return the smile. In fact, her face froze. Emma half expected a fit of rage.

Instead, there was silence, and a pain flickering over her face that wanted to break out but was firmly held back. She couldn't search for her eyes as Regina looked away and swallowed.

"Except there's a reason you don't want to go there?"

Emma couldn't help but asking even though she realized her words reached Regina like a gunshot. The woman took a sip from her glass, put it back on the table and left her hand around its stem. She turned her face at some spot on the wall for a couple of seconds, concealing her eyes, until she finally looked at Emma again and cleared her throat. Emma could've sworn she saw tears before, but now she met an icy glance.

"Even if there _was_, I don't think it's any of your business"

The voice surprised Emma. It wasn't as much of an insult as of a sad statement. Still.

"You know, it actually helps some people to _talk_ about it"

"And what makes you think that I would want to talk about it with _you_?"

"Well, first, I have no idea what we're even talking or _not_ talking about", Emma hissed, "and secondly, I'm actually one of the few people who would listen."

"Why? Because you think you _owe_ me for letting you stay here?"

"_No_", Emma said indignantly, "but because that's what people sometimes do. Talk and listen." _You should try it._ This was frustrating. "Though I have no idea why I even-"

"Fine. You wanna talk? How about we start with the obvious - where do you think are we going with this? You living here, and what message does that hold for Henry? How do you see this _arrangement_ working out?", Regina threw at her, rising from her chair and glaring down on Emma, hands pressed on the table.

"I ... I have no idea.", Emma snapped.

"_I have no idea_ - you know that you said that three times tonight. That's what your problem is - you just can't -"

"No!" _You don't get to do this tonight._

"It just means that I actually admit it when I'm at a loss. That's the point where I could use somebody to work things out, but it seems like I'm at a dead end here!" She returned the woman's glare, got up and walked into the kitchen, ready to storm off. _Emma Swan, calm down. This isn't getting you anywhere. _

For a couple of seconds, it was quiet. Emma rummaged in her bag. How was she supposed to work with that woman if they couldn't even talk like normal human beings? They had some moments, surely, but when it came to the really important questions, they'd always be at each other's throats.

"Emma"

The blonde paused.

Regina had tried to attach the same menace to the word as to a common "Miss Swan", but failed.

"Come back here. _Please?_"

There were different ways people spoke her name - Henry in exaggerated admiration, her parents with desperate love but added paternalism - and most of the other people she knew with a sort of apologetic undertone. _Emma_. From Regina, she knew, it meant actual respect. It had taken them some time to get on a first-name basis, and Emma wanted to believe that when it happened, it meant something.

She opened the cabinet and got herself a glass, turned around the corner and saw Regina standing there at the table, fingers of her right hand drawing invisible scratches into the plate. Emma walked towards her and took a step too close, looking her in the eye and putting the glass on the table, briefly touching her arm.

"Pour me some, would you?" Regina didn't flinch.

Emma sat down on a chair and waited, keeping the other woman's eyes locked. They were good at this, weren't they?

Regina smirked, provocatively, and grabbed the bottle, yanked out the cork and took the glass, filled it. When she handed it to the blonde and didn't let go right away, their fingertips brushed and Emma wasn't sure if it was out of threat or affection. They barely ever touched. It was as if Emma didn't know if she was made of flesh and blood at all, so the slightest contact was a comfort to her, a reminder that even Regina Mills, the _Evil Queen_, was human after all. She needed that confirmation from time to time.

"Thank you", Emma emphasized. Regina sat down and poured herself a glass, reluctantly leaning back on her chair, relaxing. Looking at her.

"I only want what's best for Henry." , she stated earnestly, as if it was put into question. She had a point though.

"I _know_." Emma answered, "and yes, there have been times when I wasn't so sure about it" - Regina looked at her, deadpan - "but I am now. Alright?"

"So what are we going to do?"

"You know, I'm actually quite happy with how things are at the moment.", Emma admitted straightforward. Regina actually frowned. "I get to see Henry in the mornings and after school and actually get to _know_ him, what makes him tick, how long it takes him to get out of bed, how he handles his homework... I don't know - all that stuff. I like it." She smiled a big smile, the sort of which only Henry could put on her face, until now.

"That's good to hear. Because I remember a time when you were ready to disappear from his life"

"Ehhm", Emma protested, "THAT might be a distortion of facts, but, yeah." She sighed. "But I've learned. I've learned to do better than that. And believe me, I actually had ten years to think about it even if it doesn't seem that way. I didn't simply forget that I had a son - even if I tried to tell that to myself. He still was out there, somewhere."

_Somewhere.  
_

"Did you know that I adopted him when he was three weeks old?", Regina read her thoughts. Her face was beaming at some distant place in her mind. Emma found it to be the expression that suited her best. She looked happy.

"I know I never got to raise him", she spilled.

"I didn't give birth to him", Regina threw back in an instant.

"But here we are."

"And he wants you in his life. You're his _mom_.", Regina stressed. It might've stung a little to say it. "And as much as I might've hated the idea at first, I guess I've... come to accept it." Did Regina really just say that?

"Don't worry. He still calls you 'mom', too. It's "mom this and mom that", and I'm the only one who's not confused by it. We should figure out something with that, too."

"I don't even know where we should start, honestly."

"Well...", Emma dared to say, "maybe by officially telling people that I live here" And not letting them keep thinking she's homeless and too flighty to stay at a place.

"People have actually started wondering. I heard some things." She grinned. And then she hesitated. She didn't want to steamroll her, again.

"Only if it's okay with you, of course. It is your house."

"Well. Seeing that hardly anybody in Storybrooke has a plan for what's going to happen to this town or how time will or won't change the circumstances... we might as well stick to this arrangement. For the near _and_ remote future."

Emma raised her eyebrows in surprise. She hadn't expected it. But wasn't the simplest solution sometimes the best?

"You wanna clink glasses to that?", she smiled at her temptingly. Not that two adults needed a reason to empty a bottle of wine.

"You're on.", Regina answered back, with a thinly covert smile expressing she didn't seem to mind the idea. She took the bottle and made a face when it came appearant that it was almost empty.

"Fifty-fifty!", Emma exclaimed, mockingly outraged. Regina gave her a grin. She divided the rest of the content into their glasses, put the bottle aside and took her glass.

"Mom?", came, all of a sudden, a voice from the kitchen. _Oh shit._ Had they actually stayed up long enough to wake him? Emma turned around and saw the boy awkwardly standing there. He was wearing his pyjamas and sheepishly playing with his hands. Emma realised that she hardly ever saw him without something in his hands before - he was always carrying his backpack or some food or his storybook. He was a different boy at night, sleepy and more childlike.

"Henry", they both exclaimed, in different tones of voice and extension, though. The boy seemed confused. Regina got up and walked towards him, and Emma, when she felt awkward staying in her chair, raised as well. But she kept behind.

"What are you still doing up?", he asked suspiciously. "It's _way_ past midnight!", he added, being a bit overly dramatic.

"Henry...", Emma laughed it off, "we ehh... we lost track of time, I guess?"

"I just had to discuss something with Emma. With your mother. But, you're right. It's absolutely time to go to bed now, right?" Regina looked at her direction and appearantly asked for support.

"_Yes_." Emma bemoaned her glass of wine, still on the table. But the two glasses she'd already had were probably enough to make her fall asleep during the town meeting tomorrow anyway.

"Come on, Henry.", she smiled. "Let's go?"

"Okay.", he quickly surrendered. She'd have expected a bit more enthusiam as he always seemed upset that she now lived with him but had not yet been home early enough to put him to bed, but, he clearly was tired. He stopped to wait for her, and then Regina bowed down to him and wrapped her arms around him. As Emma watched them, it somehow reminded her of the first time she saw them together, both times sensing the strange feeling of her affection for him. Only this time Henry didn't escape her embrace - after a few seconds, he raised his arms and put them around her neck, letting their cheeks touch.

"Good night. I love you", she whispered.

"Good night. Me too", he answered shyly. But he meant it, Emma thought.

Regina opened her eyes and looked up at her, mouthing a "Will you...?", before pointing her eyes on her son. Emma nodded.

She waited until they let go, then took Henry by the hand. "Off to bed! Come on. I'm sure you got school tomorrow, huh?"

"Thanks, ehm, for the wine", she said to the other woman, "and the talk"

She smiled at Regina, uncertainly, but then saw her returning the gesture. Emma was glad they had worked out at least some things. For the day.

"See you tomorrow", she said, before turning around and leaving the kitchen with Henry. Regina didn't move for a while, and then quietly walked backwards and put the glasses and the bottle away, downing her glass and emptying Emma's into the sink, wondering what it would've been like to raise glasses with her.

. . . . .

**A/N: I hope nobody minds the random switch to Emma's POV, it just happened, and since I hadn't given her so much thought in the previous two chapters, it was interesting for me. At any rate, i just write, following the flow lol. You can see where it took me here. I don't know how it happened haha. You can probably tell that I don't have a plan here but just 'explore' situations. Now I just need to concoct a new reason for them to meet, lol. Suggestions are welcome, PM me! at any time :)  
**

**Thanks so much to every follow & review ;) Keep them coming please! :)**


	4. Fourth Night

I'm sorry this fic hasn't been updated in months... but I finally had some ideas on how to continue this story. I hope a few of you still remember what happened in the earlier chapters... anyway, thanks for showing up again! Sorry in advance for any mistakes and misuse of the English language. lol.

* * *

**_Fourth Night_**

. . . . .

9:19 p.m.

Regina was folding laundry. Quick skillful hand movements added one perfectly squared piece of clothing to another, the piles growing before her - Henry's t-shirts, pants, socks, undies, her own blouses and shirts, two black trousers and a skirt which she'd been ironing before dinner.

She had considered to throw in Emma's clothes as well.

When she opened the door to the guest room that had been given to Emma and took a few steps inside, she couldn't recognize a lot of changes. The bed was made (well enough), a pair of boots standing at its end.

Regina realized that she had missed the day Emma had brought her few things over here and had moved them in. Her bag sat in a corner. Clothes hung over the back of a chair and a bottle of water stood on the bedside table. Besides that, there was hardly any way to tell that Emma occupied that room now.

But there was a gaudy orange laundry basket that Regina obviously never would've bought, with some clothes in it. She hesitated for a minute but in the end decided not to, at least not without asking her first. She'd rather told her she could use the washing machine at any time. Or was that ridiculous? How many clothes did one person really have that made it worth turning the thing on? Especially a person like Emma Swan who - as it seemed - had hardly aquired anything to wear since she moved into Storybrooke.

They hadn't discussed it and it was awkward. Maybe she should've just asked her.

She had put her own underwear away quickly after taking it out of the dryer, being a bit anxious now that Emma lived with them - she didn't particularly want her to see her folding her panties. They were living together but there were definitely boundaries. Sure, they were both adults and grown up women but she had never lived with a friend before. Apart from that, Emma wasn't her friend - though it seemed they could be, would be, in the future. And it would be for the best, not only for Henry's sake, but also for their own, because wouldn't it make everything a lot more easier? They were in this strange stage of accepting each other now, but Regina didn't know what the next step would be.

She heard the key in the door and looked up.

"_Hi_", came Emma's inquiring voice, directed at the one room still being lit where Regina was in. "In here", Regina shortly replied, rather unnecessarily. Emma held her shoes in one and a pack of beer in the other hand.

"You don't mind if I put those at the bottom of the fridge?"

"No. As long as you don't mind sharing a bottle or two."

"Of course not. If I ever run ouf of booze, I know where you're hiding your stash."

Regina smiled back, but suddenly looked serious, almost annoyed.

"Erm", she cleared her throat, "Henry and me never know if we should expect you for dinner. Just... it would keep us from unnecessary waiting if you could let me know in advance if you'd be there or not."

Emma looked at her surprised.

"Sorry? I... I don't want this to become a thing, me inviting myself to dinner and assuming that I'll get to eat at home. You don't have -"

"Please. Don't be silly. Don't make this look bigger than it is, it really doesn't matter if I cook for two or three people. Call me next time, alright? We are _civil_, aren't we?"

Regina thought of their discussion last night and, judging by her expression, Emma was doing the same.

"Sure we are", she smiled.

"So I'm being completely practical about it then - are there some leftovers from dinner that I could put into my rebelling stomach?"

"There's some in the fridge. Should I warm it up for you?"

"Thanks", Emma smiled, "but I think I can manage myself."

"As you wish", Regina smirked back. She wasn't going to deprive her of that privilege.

Emma headed towards the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. _Lasagna_. Hm. She'd been living here what, five days? And they'd had lasagna twice. It was the one dish Regina Mills was known for - and the only one. Sure, it was delicious as hell but Emma wondered how long it would take her to get tired of it. Henry didn't seem to mind it though. But, god, the woman had 29 years now to expand her cooking repertoire.

"Something wrong?"

Regina suddenly stood behind her and Emma startled. She had a talent of suddenly appearing behind your back, almost as if she was using _magic_. Emma sighed.

"No. I'm just gonna put that -"

"By the way, Henry might still be awake, if you want to talk to him. I just put him to bed 20 minutes ago and even though I told him Lights out in ten, he's probably still reading."

"Okay"

Emma looked at her, just a tiny bit suspicious. They both knew that Henry would be more than happy to see her, and she was just surprised about Regina actually suggesting it. But why wouldn't she, right?

"Thanks" Emma gestured upstairs. "I'm gonna check if I still catch him awake."

She left the lasagna on the island, and Regina decided to warm the food for her while she was with Henry. That way she'd be quicker gone and she'd have the kitchen for herself again. At least that's what she told herself.

When Emma came back ten minutes later, she smelled the spicy red pepper on the stairs already. No, she definitely wasn't fed up yet.

"Regina", said Emma, in mock-amazement, "that's smells really good though"

She walked up to her and took a look inside the oven, making Regina take a step aside, who then took the lasagna out and and put some on Emma's plate, while the woman stood next to her, fingers itching, being slightly annoyed about being served, especially by Regina. Emma impatiently took her fork and grabbed a mouthful of lasagna out of the pan.

"Did you talk to him?", Regina asked, not looking at her.

"Talk about what?" Emma answered while still chewing, earning a quick disapproving glance from Regina.

"You know - what we discussed last night - that he shouldn't go to the horse stables."

Shit. Emma had sat together with Henry for lunch and they'd had a chat about how all the other kids treated him kind of weird now. He hadn't been sure though if it was bad-weird or good-weird, it was just that they'd realized he was the only one who hadn't grown up in Fairy Tale Land, and with it came unexplainable things about him never realizing he was the only kid growing older and them knowing how to play Nintendo or go roller skating but not really remembering learning those things. Emma could tell it made his head spin, and it did the same to hers. And then she'd just been up there with him, and hadn't mentioned it.

"Well... no. I admit it - I forgot"

Regina didn't seem to believe her.

"So you don't wanna be the bad guy, huh? How easy for you."

Oh, god. Why had everything always to be personal for Regina? Emma was _not_ gonna get into that.

"But you know, maybe we should talk to him together, anyway?"

Regina sighed in frustration, a sound that Emma knew only too well.

"You know we should not. And I thought you'd understood why, but maybe I was wrong."

"Let's just go to him _now_ - I actually told him already that we're coming. Come on. He's waiting." He really wasn't. But they should definitely get this conversation over with.

"Fine", Regina answered with a shrug, and went ahead, shortly after, Emma left her food behind and followed her.

* * *

"Is this because of the man who was there?", Henry exclaimed. Emma quickly threw a silent _What man?_ at Regina, who didn't respond.

"The man who threatened me at the stables?", he added, like it was nothing. Emma was thrown back and fired a glance at the other woman. _What?! _Regina only shook her head.

"But he's not coming back, right? David told me that you took care of it."

Regina flinched the tiniest bit, Emma noticed. Henry had made it sound like Regina had constrained him and put him in jail, sent him out of town, or something of the sort. Maybe that's what they'd told him even. Emma was still waiting for an explanation, though Regina only looked at her, warningly. _Don't ask._

Henry belied his own memory though - Regina knew he'd been terrified and, shortly after, only had blocked her off when she'd tried to talk to him.

"Yes", she said, warily, "that man won't come back." Emma knew that if _Regina_ said that, it probably was true.

"But that doesn't mean that it's safe for you to go there all by yourself. We err...", she looked at Emma for support, "think it's just too dangerous." Henry looked back and forth between his moms, appearantly not sure if talking back would get him anywhere. Not that he'd cared about it at other times much. But something _was _different when they stuck together.

"Right", Emma confirmed. "We just don't want you to get hurt. And as far as I've seen it, those horses are _really_ big. We'll... talk about it later if you wanna go with someone keeping an eye on you, but for now... ", Emma searched for words.

"...you'll stay away from it, okay? We want you to be safe, that's all", Regina added as carful as she could. Emma smiled approvingly, patted Henry and gently rubbed the back of his head before she got up from his bed.

"Ohhkay." he said, surrendering.

* * *

"I'd actually hoped that this time I'd find out why the stables bother you so much."

That was actually one of the reasons Emma had wanted Regina to be there for the talk with Henry. She thought that to him, Regina would actually explain herself, and with Emma backing her up, Henry was more open to listen to everything.

"I told you yesterday, I don't wanna talk about it." Regina had crossed her arms, making her decision final. For today, at least.

"Fine. I'm gonna eat now, before it gets completely cold.", Emma said, taking her plate of luke warm lasagna and walking off to the dining room, while the other woman headed out of the kitchen.

* * *

Regina was back at the stables.

She stood there alone, arms wrapped around herself, waiting. Waiting for nothing to happen, really.

It was almost dark and the air was unusually cool, but still bearable - comfortable, to be honest. Only when a sharp cold wind suddenly blew around her shoulders she started shivering a bit, pulling her coat closer to her body.

She wasn't entirely sure why she had come here - she only knew that she'd been sitting in the car, driving it with a stubborn determination while the flood light illuminated the way. The streets of Storybrooke being empty as they always were at night, even that early in the evening. It had always been a bit spooky to drive home from the Town Hall when she was still Mayor.

Had Emma Swan talked her into that? Was she trying to prove a point, trying to show her that the stables were not a threat anymore - what happened couldn't happen again.

_It is over,_ echoed inside her head.

But how could she ever be sure? There'd been too many times that she had been certain she would never see Daniel again. When her mother accepted the old King's proposal in her name, taking away the choice of with whom she would spend her life with, just like that. The night she crushed his heart and Regina saw him die, felt his body getting liveless and cold. And then - when she thought there was absolutely no hope left in her life - the doctor told her he could bring Daniel back, and it was as if all happiness that was possible for one person to feel returned to her body, as if the pain she had accepted to be over her forever suddenly would be nothing but a dark phase, an unreal period in her life that was coming to an end now. She hardly dared to believe it.

But it didn't work. There wasn't going to be a happy ending for this story.

And, as it turned out, it hadn't been completely over yet. Not even then.

Daniel's image flashed before her eyes, standing right there where she was looking at now, _her Daniel_, the first person that had loved her unconditionally, and the last. It was Daniel, and somehow it wasn't, because he had died such a long time ago, and not even him standing in front of her could convince her otherwise. She knew she was looking at a dead man, she silently cursed all magic that would allow for something like that to happen, even though the first time the doctor told her about this, she'd been as enthusiastic as if her life depended on it. It did, in a way. Looking at him, she could sense that it wasn't right, by the pain in his eyes, the tortured movements of his body. When she did what she'd done, it had to be the final goodbye. And in a cruel, really messed up way there was something even comforting about it - they got what they never had the chance to - they got to say goodbye, they got closure, he finally let go of her and told her she would love again, learn to love someone else, and it was sincerely what he wanted for her - never anything but for her to be happy.

Sudden sobs got caught in her throat and she felt the tears sticky around her eyes, her lips trembling. She desperately pulled her coat even tighter, pressed her arms around her body to hold herself together.

All of those memories were old and firm in her mind. She'd come to be able to think about them without crying, merely letting the pain wash over her like cold water, her body not reacting in the slightest. But that last time with him, here at this stable, was still freshly branded inside her, it hadn't been thought over a thousand times, it still hurt unimaginably.

She stood there by herself, feeling as lonely as if the whole planet was empty. It was so calm, the wind had stopped, the doors weren't rattling anymore. She snuffled her nose, loosened her arms and wiped away the tears. It was time to go home. Suddenly, she heard quiet steps behind her at the gate, slowly approaching.

"Mom?", came Henry's voice.

"Henry?" _What are you doing here_ - Regina turned around but she couldn't see him. For a split second, she was shocked at how dark it had gotten.

Was he outside in the darkness all alone? How did he get here? She hoped that he hadn't sneaked out of the window and walked here, all by himself. Though secretely it touched her that he'd come looking for her. But her warning bells rang and she suddenly felt the worry like a slap in the face. She had to find him and they had to get home. It must've gotten very late by now, she didn't know _how_ long she had just stood there, thinking.

When she opened her mouth to call for him again, she screamed in terror instead.

_There were hands around her neck_, human hands but colder than any cold she'd ever felt.

It was as if the coldness alone was choking her, she couldn't feel the pressure of fingertips but only iciness like a vise.

She coughed and tried to breathe, but couldn't, the pressure was too numbing and powerful.

She reached up with her hands to loosen the grip around her neck but it was too tight.

_This was really happening._

She felt the pain cutting through her body and there was nothing she could do.

Not a thing to save herself this time.

Instead, she slowly got lulled by an alarming feeling of acceptance.

_It was better that way. _

_The person who loved her was gone and there was nobody to replace him. _

_Maybe it was just the easiest way out to make all the pain stop._

_Maybe, as she had let go of Daniel, she could also let go of herself._

It was inviting.

Suddenly, it all went black, or blank or both or nothing. She felt her feet lifting from the ground and her head spinning, going completly empty, completely free of every emotion, every pain, every thought. It was only for a second. Then she woke up.

Emma opened her door the same second Henry did. She turned on the lights on the hallway and they looked at each other, looked over at the door to Regina's bedroom.

"She sometimes has those", Henry said, looking worried but also not very surprised.

The woman screamed in her sleep and the boy had gotten used to it? Emma had to admit to herself that she was pretty terrified. Her bedroom was a couple of doors, a couple of rooms away, and still that noise woke her in an instant. She never heard anyone crying out in their sleep like that. That must've been one hell of a dream. Emma also knew she'd be too freaked out to fall asleep now if she wouldn't check on her. But first, Henry had to go to back to sleep.

"Are you okay? Come on, back to bed, buddy." She escorted him to his room and made sure he actually crawled back under the covers. "It's alright. I'm gonna take a look if she's okay, and then we're all going back to sleep." She kissed him on the forehead and he smiled at her, trustingly, as if for him, that was enough to be calmed.

She didn't really dare to enter Regina's bedroom - it is kind of private - so she just openend the door, wide enough to look inside and well, check if she was still alive and all. Not before knocking, of course.

"Are you okay?", she said, again, until the hallway light fell onto Regina's face and she saw her terrified, upset expression, a face as if she'd been crying for hours, not sleeping, like she should've.

"What the hell is going on?"

Regina sat limp in her bed, eyes squinting, clearing her throat, looking away.

"It was just a nightmare"

She straightened herself, wiping the corners of her eyes with her fingers, waiting for Emma to leave. She didn't.

"I'm _fine_.", she added. Oh, she was a lot of things, and fine was definitely not one of them right now. _Don't patronize me_.

"You don't _look_ fine."

"Thank you", Regina snarked back.

"I mean, you normally look fine... composed, you know - and I just don't know how you do it all the fucking time - but right now, you look like you've seen a ghost." Regina swallowed almost invisibly.

"It was just a dream, and I'd really love to go back to sleep now, if you don't mind."

"Okay", Emma said. Fine.

_If you say so. Not that I care that much, or anything_. She sighed.

Emma closed the door and the room was silent again. Regina couldn't hear herself breathing nor could she feel her heartbeat. She just sat there, being still alive, staring on the floor and not breathing, not noticing when the door opened again.

"You know what, you're not fine.", Emma declared, this time not caring about invading her privacy, and stepping into the room, stopping in front of her bed. She didn't even know why she cared, but she _did_.

"Let me fix you something."

"What, like a drink?", Regina snapped, tiredly though. She had no reason to be so irritating, Emma thought.

"I thought more of a cup of tea, but yeah, have your pick. Now get moving", she threw back at her, allowing no protest.

* * *

"Just so you know, I'm doing this for purely selfish reasons, I need you to be fit tomorrow morning and make breakfast for Henry, because I plan on sleeping in."

"Is that so."

They descended the stairs, looking at their feet. Emma stifled a yawn.

"Yes, I do."

"Well, there wasn't a single day in the 10 years I raised him that I'd not get up making Henry breakfast."

Emma looked at the woman walking beside her, slightly stiff.

"I'd even believe that."

Sometimes it was just weird to think about how this and that day in all those years she'd been doing... what she'd been doing, while Henry was growing up here, with her. Emma didn't feel bitter about it anymore. Still, it gave her food for thought sometimes.

They arrived in the kitchen, and Regina waited. So Emma had dragged her downstairs, but what was she expecting her to do now, just sit there and watch her fuss about her kitchen? _Not really, dear._ She headed to the cupboard.

"Hey. I'm making that damn tea. Stop taking control of everything."

Emma rushed past her and claimed the cupboard for herself, the tea, the kitchen. She gave Regina a glare and made her step back, leaning against the island, crossing her arms.

"You never have anyone doing anything for you, huh? You can't stand it! That'll make it even more fun for me", Emma quipped.

_Really, _Regina thought, being reminded of earlier that evening when Emma was fidgeting beside her because Regina served her the lasagna. Makes two of us.

"Very funny."

_If you don't have anyone, _Emma thought,

"... you learn to take care of yourself", Regina finished her notion.

_Well_.

Emma hurried to make that tea happen. She felt like Regina was staring holes in her back, even though that probably wasn't the case. Still she felt like she couldn't move, so she just stared at the water, hoping for it to magically start boiling soon. It was silent, until the quiet bubbling finally allowed her to add the tea bags. She stared at it like she'd never stared at boiling tea before. _Almost hilarious_, she smiled to herself, wondering what kind of face Regina was making right now. How long did she have to let it steep? Five minutes?

"So", she said, "if you wanna talk about it - any time's fine."

Emma quickly realized that it had come out a bit too sarcastic maybe. She turned around and looked at her, smiling sincerely. _I meant it._

Regina accepted the cup and put both her hands around it.

"Thanks for the tea."

_That's all?_

Emma brought her own cup to her mouth, trying a sip, but it was way too hot.

"Are you feeling better?"

"You mean, if I'm over being embarrassed because you found me in bed like that and because you're mothering me with tea and biscuits that I hadn't bought so I would eat them myself in the middle of the night - " she complained, pushing the box of cookies Emma had found in the cupboard aside, "then, yes. I feel ready to go to sleep again."

That woman. Sometimes it was like driving against a wall, there just wasn't a way to reach out to her, goddammit. She was trying here, wasn't she? Emma just felt disappointed. But she wouldn't give her the pleasure of letting it show.

"Okay then.", she sighed. "I'm pretty tired myself. I guess I'm going then." She smacked her hand on the counter top, went past Regina and headed for the hall.

"Well... wait", Regina said, hesitantly. If she wouldn't know better, Emma would've almost thought there was some entreaty in her voice.

She stopped, not sure what Regina really wanted from her, except to stay, it seemed. She smiled before she turned around and went back.

"I'll... clean up, so you won't have to do it tomorrow morning. It was my idea, with the tea and everything, right."

Emma walked towards the sink and rinsed her cup and the kettle, taking her time.

She sensed that Regina was on the verge of saying something. It was almost as if there was something tangible in the air when that woman was about to speak, but couldn't. But Emma guessed that it helped that she wasn't exactly looking at her. Suddenly Regina spoke, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Sometimes I still see him in broad daylight - for only a second - and I know of course that it's not real."

She paused and took a sip from her tea cup. Emma waited, standing at the sink.

"I guess I... had this dream because of our conversation with Henry earlier... About the stables", she stated, thinking about what to say for a second.

"It was just... that nightmare felt incredibly real."

Emma turned around, but stayed where she was, leaning against the pantry. Her heartbeat increased somewhat, she was suddenly feeling nervous. She couldn't quite believe that Regina would finally _really_ talk to her, let her in. She didn't want to ruin it.

"What was it about?", she asked, calmly.

"Daniel."

Regina answered quicker than Emma'd expected.

There wasn't a lot she knew about this man besides his name and the rather distressing news - delivered by David - that he'd come back from the dead while she and Mary Margaret were in FTL. At that moment, she could only think _What the actual -?, _but nobody had really talked about it since then, and Emma had to admit that she hadn't given it much thought since they got rather busy with other stuff. _Daniel, the stable boy_. She had no idea what this man had meant for young Regina. And especially not what he still meant for the woman standing in front of her.

According to Mary Margaret, he'd died by the hand of Regina's mother - which may be the cruelest thing she ever heard of - and yet he came actually back. From the dead? Emma's hair stood up at the thought of it. What had happened to him then? She had a vague idea that Regina had dealt with him. And somehow had to make him _leave_ again.

She didn't know what to say. She just looked at Regina, with as much compassion as she could bring up at this late hour, for a woman with whom she still wasn't sure where she was standing at. But she wanted to help, for god's sake.

"I was there at the stables.", Regina continued. Emma was holding onto the edge of the pantry with her hands.

"... and suddenly, there was someone behind me, attacking... me.", she said, "choking me."

Emma's face didn't move, and Regina spoke so quietly that she could hardly even hear herself. She cleared her throat.

"I knew it was Daniel, I just _knew_." He had pressed his hands around her neck before, and it was one of the most frightening memories of her life. That was when she knew that it wasn't really meant to be. That he was just a ghost from the past who wasn't supposed to be alive - even though every fiber of her being wanted him to be, before, then - and _still_.

"He .. choked me, and at some point, it all went black."

Emma waited a couple of seconds before she would say anything. Not that there was much to say.

"I don't know what to...", she whispered, and then added after a pause,

"Didn't you.. fight back?"

"I did. At first. But after a while, I wondered what I was fighting for, at all. I just felt... completely dark and cold inside, like I lost everything."

"It was just a dream, Regina"

"Was it? Because I often think that I don't have anything anymore, no Daniel, no family. No Henry."

"What are you talking about? You know that's not true."

"But we also both know that if he had to pick, he would choose you in an instant."

Regina's face was still, her expression almost angry, but Emma could tell her eyes were fighting back the tears hard. She took another sip of the tea which must've gotten cold by now.

"Maybe he would. But that doesn't mean that he doesn't love you, too. He's trying."

Regina let out a sarcastic laugh and felt the tears shooting in.

"He's trying", she repeated, bitterly, with a croaky voice and red-trimmed eyes. "That's really what everbody ever does with me - they try to love me, try to accept me, you - you try to be civil." She hated herself for showing it to Emma, but she couldn't hide the hurt in her voice. Her hands were shaking, she put them on her face, felt the wetness of her eyes between her fingers, on her palms. She was crying in front of Emma, but, what did it matter.

"I'm... going back to bed", she said, ultimately, feeling weak and so heavy at the same time, vulnerable in her pyjamas and thin dressing gown. She was pathetic, crying because she wasn't loved as much as she loved herself, feeling the rejection of Henry physically, the rejection of everybody, feeling so completely empty.

Emma had absolutely no idea what she was doing, but when Regina got up and was going to leave, she looked so thin and small and nothing like the bitchy Mayor she used to know, that she followed her and stepped towards her to make her stop.

On a whim, she raised her arms and put them around Regina in a hug. This was not a thing that she'd ever thought she would be doing. Not that the idea of physical contact with her made her cringe or anything, on the contrary. It had always been an exciting prospect because she'd imagined Regina would be freaked out by it, the ever-so-composed ice-queen she was. It would be provocative. They used to hate it each other.

Regina struggled a bit. For about four seconds.

"What are you doing?", she said, her teary voice cracking even more.

She tried to slip out of her arms, but it was a weak, not very determined attempt. Emma felt that she was so tired and drained of her crying, she felt it in Regina's entire body.

"Shut up", she snapped back, "just for once, let it go, and relax"

Regina gave in. Emma felt her initial tension go, she stopped being tight and just leaned into her, actually putting her own arms around Emma's shoulders, even if only to hold her own hands and prop herself. She clung onto her.

"I'm gonna be there.", Emma said quietly. "Even if a lot of times you won't want me there at all, I'll be here. I let go of Henry once and it was the biggest mistake of my life, so I gotta make sure I stick around this time. And if that means, I need to take care of you from time to time as well, then that's it. You were there for Henry. And for that, I'll forever owe you. Simple as that."

"You don't owe me anything", Regina said, looking on the kitchen floor, resting her chin on the other woman's shoulder.

"But I feel that way, okay? You gotta accept that." It's not like that's a bad thing. "You know what, I'd really love being your friend, you just gotta let me. We both know that when it comes between you and me, you're the one that has to show that she's ready for it. Because I always was.", Emma added. Maybe that wasn't completely true. But she wanted her to know it _now_.

"Do you really think we can do that, be friends?"

Emma felt her opening her arms again and finally she did the same, letting go of her slowly. They stood in front of each other, so close, neither of them had stepped back yet. Emma was looking at her with a sort of new curiousity. What surprised her the most wasn't that Regina would allow her to hug her, but that she didn't resent to be touched, like Emma had often imagined. She might've had a dark past, but right now, she was just a woman, like her, who needed someone to lean onto from time to time.

"You know what, I think we already - kind of - _are. _That's the thing with becoming friends - you hardly ever notice when it happens.", Emma answered.

Regina wasn't so sure about it, but it wasn't like she could draw from that much experience. Maybe that's what all this friendship stuff was about - just listening to another, trying to work on your difficulties - taking compromises for the sake of the other. And not calling it a compromise, but a thing you actually love to do, because the other person's happiness is as important as your own.

Regina took a deep breath, inhaling all the air she could. She closed her eyes for a second - they weren't as red as before - and smiled a little. Emma watched her arms swinging next to her body and thought the idea of touching Regina again was more exciting than before - she realized, how desperately she needed a friend herself. Maybe she hadn't hugged her just to comfort _her_, maybe she'd done it for herself, too.

"If you ever wanna talk, you know where my door is." _You know where I live_, Emma laughed to herself.

"I know. Thank you. Emma.", Regina said, and looked at her, not really smiling, but more wondering why it had taken them so long to get along, while it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Emma didn't dare to put her hand on her shoulder, but left it in the air between them, saying that it was probably time to go back to bed. Regina waited for her to turn off the lights, before they finally went upstairs, walking with less distance from each other than before, whispering _Good night_, before they were entering their bedrooms.

. . . . .

**A/N: Let me know it if you like this story. (If you don't, let me know, too!) Thanks for reading! SwanQueen 4ever! I really want to believe in this relationship, it would be the most perfect thing on my tv ever, if the writers would only let it happen. But I do believe in it, I do... I'm a hopeful, hopeless case, haha.  
**


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